My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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