anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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