i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
