I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
