i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals