i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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