Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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