i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.