I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
