So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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