she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
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No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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