I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
