my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Four minutes until I can fart!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
