the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
