is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
