Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
why is half of my head shaved?
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