Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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