smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
