My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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