Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize