I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
