What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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