There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
