Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He had one of those small greek statue penises
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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