Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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