Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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