I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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