you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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