i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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