Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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