this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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