Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
