the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
