okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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