I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
