omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Buhtt sex?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
