Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
