then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
