I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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