Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
