Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
