Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
