ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
