So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
