we're blogging at a bar
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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