I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
