I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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