I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize