i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
