go do what you do best...puke behind churches
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
