Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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