She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
