yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
