You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize