Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
