weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
