I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
