You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
