Me. At least after what I've been through.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
