i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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