I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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