yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
