Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
