So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
