Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
