I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
