God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
