i don't like sucking hair
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
