so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
