just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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